Last week I read a random CNN article that was sent to my inbox about why good girls like bad guys. Now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t random and someone was trying to tell me something…hmmm. Regardless, by the end of the read, I was shaking my head at the confirmation of two things:
1) Nice guys finish last
2) I will never understand women
As to the latter, when I was a senior in high school, I knew thought that I had all aspects of life figured out and like Jay-Z and Mel Gibson I knew exactly what women wanted. That was until my English teacher sat me down and gave the most important lesson of my high school career: “Mr. Blake, the only thing you need to understand about women is that you’ll never understand them. Once you understand that your life will be much easier”. Of course I filed that in my “Player Days Are Over” drawer between “Learn How to Cook” and “Wearing Jesus Sandals in Public”. But had I listened…I would probably be much better off today.
Now back to my first point “Nice Guys Finish Last”. Is it really that bad to be nice, caring, understanding, a good listener? I’m going with YES! According to the article and the survey I took last week, that’s the best way to end up in the dreaded friend-zone, and believe me that’s NOT where you want to be. Avoid it all costs. Yeah its cool when you need an extra couple pieces of eye candy to get in that trendy club without buying a bottle or when you need advice on what to get your mom for mother’s day ( *adding reminder to bb calendar) but other than that its a big L. You’re put in the same category gay dude they share fashion tips with. Is that really how you want to be remembered?
“#FF follow my besties @trillOGsinceDay1 @FierceFrankie @brokenWRIST69 ”
Naw playa I’m cool.
So the question is this: on a scale from 1 to Chris Brown how much of a rude boy does a guy need to be to get a bad chick?
- Sidebar: Is this song about taking the D? -
The answer is actually Bobby Brown that it depends. Women like varying degrees of bad, but in general from what I’ve gathered they want guys who will treat them like sh*t have an “edge”, aren’t pushovers, and know how to take control of situations. Now, nice guys definitely don’t have any of those qualities. They’re weak and spineless. They don’t do fun, heroic, romantic stuff like fight in the club or get locked up for possession/trafficking. Listen guys, if you want a 5 Star Chick like Yo Gotti rented for his video got these are the thing you have to do. You have to make sacrifices, and sometimes that means putting it all on the line. So next time you see wifey material standing at the bar, go smack the guy standing next to her, no matter how big he is or how many sacks he had last season or how many tear drops he has. You just have to go for the win.
And stop opening doors, that’s weak too.
Right?
“Mr. Blake, the only thing you need to understand about women is that you’ll never understand them. Once you understand that your life will be much easier”. – Senior Correa
- Dustin
Comments (13)
Here is my opinion, cause ain’t nothing that I’m saying law. Nice guy is a cop-out term. If a dude is nice, but also good looking, funny as hell and/or super smart….then nice isn’t the word that comes to mind first. If you continuously find yourself in the “nice guy finishing last” category, fellas, I’d say you need to work on your personality (perhaps be a bit more outgoing or charming), your appearance and/or the way in which you are marketing yourself to women. I’ve never dissed a man for being too nice, but I’ve stopped dealing with men who were too boring or dull.
As far as the “bad boy” thing, it’s not that we ALL want “thug appeal” (sadly, some sisters do…most of us don’t). But we do want charisma and perhaps a little bit of a challenge and “bad boys” present that! If you can tap in to your inner charmer and be a little sly, you’ll are probably just rude enough to pull a “bad chick”.
In closing (cause I know this is TOO long, sorry!)…you want a bad chick, but are you TRULY a catch? You want looks, personality, etc… you need to bring all of that to the table as well.
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So many places to begin.. I will just say that women will continue writing books and listening to Steve Harvey until they stop being completely ridiculous when it comes to their expectations. If you can sing, you can freely thrash women and get away with it. But it you are respectable, you are weak. Hello?
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@Sista: I definitely see what you are saying. There is a difference between being a cornball and a nice guy.. I think that it takes a true grown man to figure out what is the balance between the two, because if you have two much of one or the other she will be singing the chorus to Drake’s over while she is ignoring your call..
@Sista yeah i feel ya. I think everyone wants a challenge. Its what make a relationship, and life for that matter interesting.
I just find that often times women go for the men that treat them bad because they think its part of the challenge. “I’m going to change him” naw…usually if a guy cares enough, he’ll change…or at least pretend to change…on his own. So if i start an A-Hole…i’ll probably end that way.
Nice post! good points cody
I think a lot of men think that being indecisive and unaggressive makes them a nice guy. Most self described “nice guys” list what they don’t do if asked to list their best qualities. A lack of personality is not the opposite of a bad personality. Women like to be charmed and made to feel special. You are going to have to step up and let your intentions known in order to get the interest of a woman. I have never been passed over for a bad boy and regretted it. If anything I have been saved a lot headache and heartache by being passed over. Man up.
“Man up” was the realest statement on this comment board. Plus ther are plent of square chicks to go around.
@mrcrazyone…agreed. man up!
@Leche LMAO
I remember reading this article on CNN. I agree with Cody; it’s all about finding that balance. Every woman wants to feel respected, but when you try to be the “nice guy” a lot of times it can be seen by the woman as not knowing exactly what you want. Act a fool every now and then, just don’t cross the line. Good post ‘folk.
Let the record show that Dustin Blake stole that “1 to Chris Brown” joke from the new guy, Patrick Bateman. It’s cool though…sha-pow…
I hate when men say “nice guys finish last.” That’s not true. Now I will admit that I’ve messed over some good ones, but the truth is that while they were great guys…they just weren’t great for me. So your not finishing last…you just aren’t finishing first-with me.
Nice guys don’t give up. There is a woman out there that will truly appreciate you. I personally need a balance between nice guy (because I still expect doors to be opened, for you to walk on the side of the street closest to traffic, and for you to lay your coat down over a puddle) and a tough guy (I have a thing for men that carry guns-LEGALLY, you don’t need to be a thug…but I should feel protected by you).
There is no definite answer on the 1 to Chris Brown (or Bobby Brown for that matter) that we can point to in general. It varies from woman to woman.